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Open Letter to the Commenter Who Said “Having a Baby Ruined My Body”

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To the Commenter who Said “Having a Baby Ruined My Body”:

You left a comment on one of my Postpartum Workout Videos. Perhaps the irony of that is lost on you. You body shamed me in a place where I am striving to be healthier and encourage others to do the same.

My body isn’t here for your pleasure.

The first of your comments said: “Clearly having a kid messes up your body. You look like you gained a lot of body fat. However, I still like your workouts.” 

When another commenter defended me you responded with: “Yeah b–ch, she put on weight and fat, Get your eyes checked you moron” “…you disgusting piece of feminist s–t. I’m in great shape. I didn’t just shit out a kid” and “Actually C–t, I would never be stupid enough to s–t out a kid and ruin my body. So kiss my a$$ you b–ch.”

The comments that you posted are NOT okay. Verbally attacking me, and other people is NOT okay. The viewpoints that you apparently felt such a compulsion to express….NOT okay. Are you getting my point?

I am in fact one of those “feminist pieces of s–t” that you refer to in your comments. Your objectification of my body, and your attempts to minimize me to only my physical appearance….NOT okay.

I am curious, why does a higher body fat percentage ruin my body? Because you don’t enjoy looking at it?

You see, my workouts are about being healthy. They are not about achieving some bodily ideal set for me by society, or by the unrealistic expectations of strangers. My focus is on health, not body fat percentage. I don’t appreciate you trying to tear me down, or tear down any woman who is postpartum and has to read your vitriol.

As a female, I have had to deal with unwanted comments about my body since I was 12-years old. It takes strength to feel comfortable in your own skin when society is telling you that you are not good enough. The pressure is even higher after having a baby, when there is so much focus on achieving your pre-pregnancy weight and physique, before your body has even recovered from labor. It took my body more than 9-months to grow to accommodate a child, and now I am supposed to magically return to my pre-pregnancy shape instantly? Why? Because you think having a kid messed up my body?

Sorry, I’ll pass on the crash diet and self-hatred.

In five days time I will be 4-months Postpartum. Your first comment was posted on one of my workout videos one month ago (when I was nearly 3 months Postpartum). My life, body, hormones, emotions, went through major changes. I have not set a deadline to achieve a certain body fat percentage. I will not succumb to the pressure from you, or any other person to feel badly about myself for not meeting unrealistic physical expectations.

I like my body. I like it with extra body fat. I like it with muscle. I liked it when my body fat percentage was lower. The amount of fat on my body does not define me. My body is strong and healthy. My body carried a child for more than 9 months, and went through more than 27 hours of labor to deliver a beautiful baby boy into this world. My body is strong and capable. I refuse to hate my body.

Having a child made me realize how much stronger, and more capable I am. Having a son makes me realize that my reactions and responses to the world will teach him what it means to be a man, and how to treat a woman. I will not passively accept that comments like yours are something that I have to endure.

Your comments are one small representation of the attitude and pressures facing women each and every day. Today, instead of just hitting delete and ignoring the problem, I am standing up and saying it’s not okay.


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